My first post

It's 2017. My bed is positioned in a way that the morning rays hit half the bed. Earlier I used to sleep in a way that the rays hit my face directly so that I know it's morning. I had this idea that it would be an amazing feeling but trust me it's the most horrible thing you could do to yourself. So I started sleeping the other way round and let the sunrays hit my feet instead. Now that, feels amazing.

So it happened to me that I this morning I woke up much before the rays could actually make my feet warm and saw the golden rays coming in. I decided to do the most difficult thing during winter mornings. I decided to leave my cosy bed.

We have an easy chair. Not the traditional ones but the folding-easy to carry ones. It's pretty comfortable. We have kept it in our balcony. So I decided to sit there and write my first post.

But what do I want to write? Well, about the year 2016. So.... last new year, I drank a lot and was totally out. So the start of the new year was me sleeping in a cab on my way home. After I reached, my mom suggested that we go out for dinner (unaware of the fact that I'm dead drunk). So me, dad and mom, we go out and I take the back seat. We roam around, eat dinner, return and go off to sleep. Was I in a relationship then? Well I was struggling to understand myself. Technically no I wasn't but later somehow me and my girlfriend sorted the differences.

Anyway, so this year was pretty crucial for me. Why? I was planning to change my motorcycle. The market was full of newer motorcycles at cheaper prices but I knew I can't afford such a less price for mine as I had maintained it really hard. One fine day some guys came down to check my motorcycle and they were astonished by how my bike was both by looks and by the way it ran. So we closed the deal with them after very minor negotiation. I gifted him my helmet as a good gesture.

That very evening I met with a terrible accident on my car. A wrecked truck rammed my car from the left after skipping a stop signal. People around stared at me as if I'm a ghost when I came out of my car. And when I saw my car, yes I was surprised too as to how I'm alive and totally uninjured. Maybe because it was a Mitsubishi, I'm still alive. But where I'm heart broken is, the insurance company didn't clear the claim due to rubbish reasons which is why repairing the car became very impractical. So it's still there at a parking.

I traveled everywhere in public transport for a couple of months and then I got a new motorcycle. This one isn't as good looking as my previous one but is a pocket-rocket.

After two months of riding it, I rode to North Sikkim (Gurudongmar lake) and Bhutan on it and boy I am so happy. Riding motorcycles is like redemption to me. All my frustration, anger, agony that I store inside me gets redeemed when I ride. Nothing else matters to me then only the road ahead.

I had multiple promotions at workplace which is also a good thing. Completed a certification which was long due. Further to that we shifted to a new house which is absolutely great.

In addition to car crash there was another disaster which left me devastated. The end of my relationship. We were in a relationship for about three years. People have ups and downs in their lives, we had turbulence. But still we managed to push the flight through, but the time we broke up, I really didn't think we would. What was hard? To realise that my counterpart wouldn't come back to tell me that "It's ok we can work this out". There goes another long list of emotions, feelings, promises, dreams, all into the drain leaving me totally numb. I still miss her but I don't think the feeling is same anymore. Hence I thought to myself, if the existence of this relationship doesn't matter to her, why should I keep running after it? It's not mine alone. So instead, let's work on my setbacks and the first one I could think of is the way I look. Well that's pretty much the first thing anyone notices.

I am 5 feet 10 and I used to weigh around 48 kilos. I figured out this is where I need to start. So I bought some home workout equipments and started off. I looked up Google for all the different exercises that were possible using my equipments and started taking protein supplements. Its quite sometime now and I'm 68 kilos. People around tell me I look much more attractive. I feel that too when I wear my old clothes or buy new clothes. It feels so good when I see myself in pictures that others click.

Eventually I'm trying to fix the dents I created in my relationship with my friends. I've started talking to them, meeting them up, and yes it's improving.

So now that I am still sitting on my easy-chair, getting sunbathed, looking below the balcony to see a father teaching her daughter how to ride a bicycle, I think life is all about priorities and the process of working towards it. I think I'm better now. 2016 was a long year with so much that I have participated in and learnt. I am a totally different person now, but I think I am better. Even though there is a blank space in my life, even though I'm incomplete, I'm wiser. And for now, that matters to me.