Have you watched the movie 'Cast Away' by Tom Hanks? Do you remember 'Wilson'? The volleyball he used to communicate with throughout the time he was isolated on the island? Do you think he was insane? No. But yes it means life becomes much more easier when we have someone by our side even if it is imaginary.
We cannot survive alone. To remain sane we need a company, someone to talk to, someone to depend on emotionally or at least someone who will always be there to listen to what we have to say, which is why we tend to socialize with people, to build relationships, to be friends with, to bank on, to love and be loved. We are driven by an individual's characteristics like personality, intelligence, beauty, etc. But most importantly, we often tend to opt for people who we think can fill a void within us which might be due to any old relationship or any other reason.
Relationship is a bond of understanding and trust and something that fulfills all the above between individuals. We are often driven towards a relationship called 'Love' which is technically chosing a partner to bank upon and support your entire life. But that doesn't end well always. Let us try to find out why.
When we come across a person, we know them the much they show us or to the world. But everyone of us has two sides of characteristics like the two sides of a coin. We are often attracted to the good side of one's nature and we tend to rush into the decision of, or mutually agree upon, being in love. However with time things change when we get to know every side of them. While some of us chose to stand there accepting every bit of the character of the person, some of us chose to back out.
Love relationship is simple, we have some characteristics which our partners don't like, they have some which we don't. Here comes the question of adjustment. We are expected to adjust with the other person's setbacks and they are suppose to adjust with our's. However if there is something where adjustment isn't working, there should be compromise from the one whose characteristics isn't adjustable by their partner. But does it work like that? No. Why? Emotions.
Emotion is a complex set of our state of mind like love, hate, compassion, lust, depression, insecurity, possessiveness and so much more. Emotions are so complex that we act or react in different ways while undergoing different phases of emotions. While some of us react too much to emotions, some of us have the capability of hiding them from others. Some even learn to hide them to avoid expected reactions based on past events of when they have expressed their emotional state.
Emotions at times can be so confusing that we are unable to understand what is going on and how to react. When two people are in a love relationship, the expectations are huge and mostly it becomes difficult to understand the other's emotions. Ofcourse that's normal, when we can't understand all of our own emotions how can we be certain about someone else's? But yes we always expect our partner to understand our emotions even if we don't understand them. That's lame but that's the truth. And if they fail, which they mostly do, we react and do things to make them feel miserable as a reaction of venting out our personal frustration on to them. Might sound funny but can you disagree?
So what happens after that? As I said earlier, some chose to settle down with all the adjustments and compromises while some chose to part ways, but there is always an aftermath to every relationship. We become a bit of the other person we were in a relationship with. We imbibe some of their nature and characteristics while being with them. Although we might have reacted to a situation in a different manner some years back, we will surely react to a similar situation in a different manner today. That is due to the characteristics we have absorbed from people we came across. Yes quality of friends have a huge impact as well however love relationships have the most of it because in a relationship one always depletes and the other revives, and if the balance is improper, the one depleting eventually has nothing left of themselves.
Don't let someone deplete you to the extent of not remembering who you used to be but never give up without trying. Love relationship is a beautiful affair but both partners need to be equally giving and willing to be together. We are human, and we make mistakes, but we as human beings have the capability to be able to balance between forgiveness and where to draw the line, to understand between love and false promises, to be able to understand between your partner being incapable of understanding you or taking you for granted.
But even once it is over, how much of us are really us? Or are we them?
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